DiViNE EViL

It's approximately a year now since I've started noting down all the EViL Encounters all around us, and so, through the experience gained, I can modify my trademark statements.

Original posted on: Sunday, July 10, 2005
New Version: Thursday, July 20, 2006

Good Evening.

I am JLam, also known as Nevilinity, Finoq, Navalev, Holeyhell, Wronninghall, or things like that. Too long to list.

I live in a world full of EViL. People who do not understand the virtue of patience, humility, creativity, unselfishness, optimism, flexibility and anger control(tolerance). These are common weaknesses of what we call intelligent beings who dominate the Earth. If only people would realize the key to all kindness is forgiveness. Nobody can understand why people act like people, how stubborn characteristics change their acts, other's decisions, and the future, why people do not realize the joy of life. Life is to be enjoyed, because you will never know what lies after. Nobody knows if your knowledge carries over to your afterlife because it won't affect it. Nobody can prove there's a God, Heaven or Hell. Nobody can control the darkness of people, the anticipation of the next public enemy to emerge. Nobody can predict how the fairness of judgement and luck can fall upon people and change their character, lives, and future for others, for better or worse.

Such is the power of DiViNE EViL.

Now I'm flying past my weeks...of nothing. Not much is done, not much I get, not much I want. Through all these weeks, it seems like it's not worth it. Or is it?

Shall I return to my normal straight path of education, if you know what I mean. Perhaps I could. We'll just have to see for now.

As it ventures deeper into the second half of the year, it's time the EViLness shall appear. We shall see, if miracles will happen, or a total change in the direction of my life.

We shall see.

These days, everything else is more important than sleep. Including entertainment.

The reason why I'm staying up now is because of the 2006 World Cup Finals which will start approximately when I complete this entry. It's France against Italy. It's once in four years. Not much else to say, just to watch.

Then, there's more to watch on the television, that's a lot if you know that I only watch sports (90%) and discovery stuff (only when I'm bored). I was watching Tour de France at half past nine, and I could have watched Wimbledon Tennis Finals right now, but I have something else to do.

AND now these other things include homework. Ah, as I always do, put stuff until the last night. I might re-delay, but the thing is, there's even more stuff to complete in the next two days. If only, I had an extra week...

Somehow the time vanishes. It rips past faster than you could realize. So fast, and so busy, that my hair has probably been the longest since I was born.

Happy notes to myself, wonder if sleep is worth all this.

I had written (typed) stuff about myself, that better expresses my personality. Main target was not on this blog, but since it has something to do with me I'd put it here anyway.

What I feel about myself is that I think I have a lot of strengths, but I am unable to capitalize on them. I have many ambitions but I am unable to decide what should I focus on. I accept criticisms and brush off insults easily. I believe the mind is stronger than your strength. I can do what I am told. However, I have numerous weaknesses too. Most noticably, I'm lazy. Horrendously lazy, I realize it myself. However, my mind and body are not motivated enough to perform the tasks. This ends up in last minute work. I prefer to ignore problems rather than overcoming them. I am also clumsy, though I have been improving on this. I work only if I am motivated. However, my motivated work does wonders. It's a pity I can't get enough.

More to add on: I'm very unemotional. I do not let other factors intrude my decision. I am very neutral, and I intend to stay that way. I have high anger tolerance. I am humble. However, I am somewhat gullible, I am too unsociable. If you get close enough too see my real side of myself, you'll enjoy it a lot. However, being sociable like that is something I am unable to express to others as yet. I have tried, but still, something is missing. It is probably due to inexperience.

There's one important weakness I have. Exploit it and I'll be yours. Most obvious example is my neighbour. However, exploiting that weakness might unbalance all my other usual personality factors. You won't want me when I'm not 'having high anger tolerance'.

Good Evening and Good Luck.

It's back to reality. I must still focus what I'm studying for (if I'm studying). Am I really sure about this?

The problem is, doubts are rising.

I won't type too long because is more than 1am in the morning and I haven't showered.

AND so another new month arrives, but I still feel quite stranded in Nevilinity. What I'm supposed to do now is worse than reading a Mathematics textbook. The reason is a Mathematics textbook is good for reading but not for working.

Anyway, I'm not doing my work. Somehow I'm not motivated to do anything. How can this be? I still wonder to myself. I am not myself. I do not act properly. But I will.

I will believe to. AND if you do too, we shall succeed. To no other could imagine.