DiViNE EViL DiViNE EViL: February 2009


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Out of place

I feel too separated from the world after a while. Even if I do get to see it for two days a week, it just doesn't seem the same the last time I saw it. I didn't even recognise Lot 1's entrance after the construction was complete and considering that I didn't even know when it was completed, it's hardly a surprise.

Also feeling the heat is the use of language. Exposure to poor grammar begets poor grammar, and the lack of usage of words to write leaves me short on vocal vocabulary. Not to mention I don't feel exactly justifiable to my conscience to have much of the local community tuning into my channel.

Losing momentum on the piano is my biggest quirk. Every week I play La Campanella about four times, usually twice on Friday and Saturday. Now with my fingers weakening, I can't even accumulate the stamina to last through the whole piece. Additionally, I never really feel like playing any other pieces. I have an even harder time managing the Revolutionary Etude, and I can only manage a page or so of any other piece. However, I do think about it in camp. Once I was moving my right hand while idling to imitate the first jumping section of La Campanella, and somebody thought I was waving to him. He said 'hi', and I was relatively taken aback because firstly, I was not really concentrating on my surroundings and secondly, I was a relative stranger to him. Only did it dawn on me what I was doing did I think how this miscommunication actually happened.

The increasing trepidation had unexpectly and unwantedly returned. I feel the power of DiViNE EViL again. But now it is a test to my ethics. In this phase I hope to build my confidence, strengthen my will and express the panorama of the real vision and goal of my values. It is then for the receiving party to understand.

As for Tay Yi, I have been skimming through his recent posts and I see he is still adamant as ever towards his musical views (not that it's bad). As for his plea for assistance on his La Campanella, I think that taking a break from the piece or piano totally for two to three days could do some good but I'm not really that sure since his description is quite vague and I am unsure of his situation (haha). Well Tay Yi I didn't want to put this in here but you had no tagbox...

Yes I think I feel quite refreshed now. All I need is to take it easy. Add a new ethic: If the situation is not particularly stressful, or stressful only upon oneself, do not implant the stressfulness into others, but let them acknowledge your situation.

That is all for the week.
JLam posted this at 18:09 | link | 2 comments |