DiViNE EViL DiViNE EViL: August 2012


Monday, August 06, 2012

I'm leaving.

It has been nearly three years since I last did my annual post. Not that I should anymore anyway, this notion of EViLness is now already mostly banished from my memory. Back by chance, and typing out of interest, the crucial directional crisis of my life seems to be momentarily over; though I will still have to put my assimilation to the test.

No more specifics, and I'll leave it at that. Just two to three years of stagnance and my control of language seems to have vastly deteriorated. I often find myself searching for the word to use which I know exists but cannot put my finger to. My mind needs to slow down to form sentences before I can type them out in their entirety. Just two years.

Fortunately, I have finally managed to achieve a few things, which are really miniscule considering the time I had for them. I managed to pass my piano ATCL diploma, a staggering 7 years after I achieved my ABRSM Grade 8. I can only hope my renewed revival of interest for classical piano will maintain the drive required to proceed to higher levels.

I managed to obtain a driving licence too but that's relatively trivial and considering the amount of traffic in Singapore as well as Hong Kong I doubt I'll actually prefer driving than actually taking public transport in the future, considering that there will be a MRT station plopped right outside my house in 2015.

Forgetting all these, I shall now set my sights to the future yet again, after repeated disappointments in the past few(several now) years, and hope that I can make something more out of myself. No, not hope. To perform is what I strive, but time and time again they return as empty words echoed in my mind of procrastination and lack of determination. But perhaps I will enjoy the suffering which is to come. From here, I will probably throw this idea away again and let this blog rest. Only if I do manage to overcome my odds shall I come back and laugh away at my old self, otherwise it is only a pain to become the failure that I tried so hard not to be.

You have my word. I may never appear here, but I shall always be around. For one to fabricate originality, one must discard all the original traits of examples he has followed and keep only the essence.
JLam posted this at 14:13 | link | 0 comments |