Saturday, May 03, 2014
Another Rift in Relation.
For apparently, your promiscuous curiousity is priortized over integrity. And it had me wondering what had gone into you. Alright, so it's not the first time you started ignoring people out of the blue because of your own overthinking, and it really makes me doubt if those people that were close to you were as negative as you mentioned. For I'm beginning to take their side.
I realise you're not as normal as we are, and I definitely can accept that. But what I cannot accept, and only now, is the fact you're letting this take over your life. It was but a negligible aspect of life for me, and you've had your fair share of trials and tribulations. I was inferior in experience but even so sometimes I didn't agree with your outlook. So, alright. That's over now. But the fact that you think so much about what others say, too much, when they don't even take their own words to heart, is what's damaging your relations with everyone. On those bases you give them them the cold shoulder, causing them to be clueless about your change in attitude. Perhaps it's just a momentary passing phase, but I'm not the only one who feels about you this way. Knowing you, you might be able to accept it as your own character, but the truth is that it's not a positive point. I know the flaws in my own character and actions and have been gradually trying to improve them. Embracing flaws in a character just because you think it makes you unique...is a flaw to your lifestyle in which you shouldn't complain about the negatives it brings.
So perhaps it's the words I said which ticked you off. So perhaps it's the small actions I did which you're unhappy about. I don't even know and I'm just doubting myself here. Regardless, you probably know I do not deliberately harm you or your image. If you don't, well, you've been thinking too much. And from past experiences, I don't think that's much of a stretch. You don't think I am careful with my actions? I am, and you should know I treat most people equally, you included, but if you decide to amplify the unpleasant parts, that's your own character which you have to blame.
I'm coming off cold here because this finally reveals what kind of a person you are. Ironically, for you to discover things about me that I never talk about, I find out more about you in a macroscopic level. That you have even less sympathy than I can exhibit. It is a wonder, although you are several years younger than I am, that your knowledge of things outside your mind so woefully inadequate despite your potential proficiency. You think so much, but about redundant things other than those that affect your personal life. Your views are either too macroscopic, or personal. And in your quest to quench your selfish thirst, you have no qualms of intruding into other's personal spaces or ignoring them totally. Not to mention showing no remorse, responsibility, nor any inkling of acknowledgement when confronted. I gave you the chance to say anything you wanted, but you didn't even choose to have eye contact with me. In fact, you merely smirked at yourself, putting your triumphant achievement across to me, revelling in the crime that you committed.
You brought this upon yourself. This is what you wanted. So alright, I'll let it pass. But I've learnt yet again what atrocities this world houses. I know there's worse out there. But I just didn't expect something like this to appear without much warning, when I was lured into a false sense of security.
And there's much more that you did that I don't know. I'm just not safe anymore. For the sake of my privacy, or whatever is remaining, there has to be some sort of compromise.
You might even be reading this. Well, at least that solves my problem of getting my point across without the assumption that you would be physically listening. Maybe it's nothing to you, but just be aware, this act means a lot to me. I could care less what you discovered. I could care less what you can imply about me with this information. You should care more about yourself, and what you've done.
The ends justify the means? In your case, it's not.