Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Underestimation and Obliviousness
That said, I've gotten everything off my chest. So I was right that you knew nothing about my pain and suffering. Though it's relatively trivial now, you now share your pains from your trails and errors with me - without sharing your joy. I have been supportive of you all this time, and you seem to take it for granted. Perhaps you don't know how cruel this world can be. This is only scratching the surface.
But perhaps now you've seen that I've shared more, you have also naturally started to do so. In addition to what I am helping you with now - the only thing I can provide is pity. Perhaps it's because I'm in this position, having existed longer than most people around me. I can see all the flaws, the reasons for your troubles, and what you are about to bring upon yourself. But how much I can alert you in a serious manner and cause you to respond accordingly is not even close to my control. I guess all I can accept is your own offer to improve me.
The twisting, undefined bonds between us are strangely close yet frail at the same time. In what could be linked by happiness, we are linked by sorrow and uncertainty. I certainly didn't mean for it to develop this way but nothing is as straightforward as it seems.
At least there's something for certain now. In my new quest, I seek for the one who will be able to accept and return all that I have to give. It has been accumulated for two dozen years now. It has lain dormant for an abnormally long time. It is waiting to be set free. It is waiting for the right time and being.
Fate is as unpredictable as it gets.