DiViNE EViL DiViNE EViL: Termination


Sunday, May 05, 2013


The last month of my first study year here has arrived, and with it another resolve: to put it down again for the fourth time. Barring those feelings returning again, what I feel now seems to be possible given my situation right now. And somehow, the number 4 seems to have some affinity with me...or that's what my superstitious sense says. After all, my new HK phone number sums it all up...the number 4 appears 4 times, and adding up all the 8 digits of the number yields the sum of 44.

My nervousness seems to have been overcome...and probably, with it, my feelings as well. There will be one last test - then, as I get ready to return to SG...the chapter would finally be closed. Until then, I cannot declare this to be over - lest the same thing happens again, like how it did the past three times.

When I look closer, there are never enough secrets to be told. As time goes by, new ones will surface, and old ones will be harder to contain. But I now know the burden of knowledge, and the adversity of divulging too much of it. It's a life lesson learnt, and it will be put to good use.

Let me restart this anew. There will be a better story to be told. After all, dramas don't get interesting if there aren't any setbacks. But now I understand how there are so many things talking about this phenomenon. All those songs and pieces written about all possible situations. And what people manage to do just for the sake of it. As my mold regains its shape and returns to how it was, my radar will be set on a more straightforward path. This was not destined, but there might be other unexpected things which might contribute to an even more appropriate outcome. There will undoubtly be success and good luck to offset the failure and unsuccessfulness. It is just all in due time.

Recede and reprieve.
JLam posted this at 01:51


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