Thursday, March 07, 2013
With just one exception: that my degree of obsession has been somewhat diminished. It is still there, but my mind automatically treats this differently. And my soul feels much more at ease with this.
It was the first time since then when I had a one-on-one conversation personally, and you treated like nothing had ever happened. Indeed, we have returned to what we were before. But what does this mean? Do you take this as nothing, or are you just plain oblivious? I'm rather inclined to assume the second option, as I come to understand you more. After this chance fate has given me, I'll let things cool off a bit and stabilise the situation.
For the curiosity of human nature, and what comes with it, always harbours the notion of greed, no matter how slight. As I have come to realize that this aspect within me is much more conventional than my other aspects, I have no doubt to keep up my optimism. I just have no idea if you'll take it that way. As mentioned, I'll take it even more slowly this time.
Too many things are happening around us. All these distracting factors are but a topic for us to discuss; we are passengers to the surroundings. We should not let this relative speed cause our impulsiveness, or rather, mine alone. In fact, I might even judge my feelings and if I manage to suppress it fully then this is how it would stay and continue. After all, it is not me who gets the last say however quickly I progress.
There are still many unanswered questions though, but those aren't critically important right now. Knowing the answers might even put me out of ease. All I have to see is the front you're setting up, and for now it seems promising. You have given me the experience; I have learnt greatly from this, and in the end now, I didn't sacrifice anything major. But there are higher heights to achieve. It might be selfish of me to continue this pursuit, but at least the hardest part seems to be over. I'll be sure to continue improving myself; and you must do too. But do not rule me out on this.
My adventures continue.