DiViNE EViL
Saturday, March 30, 2013
A Long Overdue Resignation
It seems like, ultimately, to save myself, I will have to put this all behind. Although I should have done so months ago, that optimism within me still kindled, however slightly. Indeed, this abrupt but indefinite conclusion is at least a relatively mild and comforting end to my maiden journey.
The aforementioned other half of the discussion didn't materialize. Perhaps you were waiting for me to bring it up...but I felt that there wasn't anything more to drag on about. Up to this stage I guess I can deduce your patterns already, and although you didn't imply anything, I understood the situation in which we both stood. It is best that we keep it as it is. I have realized that, but was unwilling to accept it; these repercussions were wrought upon myself, and I will have to accept the concequences.
I will probably not tell you this directly, but I do wish you good luck on your future endeavours. We will still share a similar path, but I guess we are too different otherwise. As for myself, I have to finally tell myself to stop messing around in this tomfoolery. With a tone of finality, I now have the answers, or at least, reasonable assumptions, to consign myself to stop pursuing this matter. Hopefully, this time, my heart will comply. My brain has understood and processed this long ago...only now does my instinct respond to reality.
Of course, I could say that all this has been beneficial. I didn't lose anything, yet gained things that can't be studied or learnt without going through them. This will definitely aid my own handling of such events in the future (should I encounter them again). I have to thank all that have been with me, alongside me and tolerated me. Even in the past month, I have felt myself gradually returning to who I was. Now I shall be freed entirely, again setting aside the dormant part of me which was awakened for but a short while. At least we all know it exists.
Resignation is just a pessimistic word for liberation.
The aforementioned other half of the discussion didn't materialize. Perhaps you were waiting for me to bring it up...but I felt that there wasn't anything more to drag on about. Up to this stage I guess I can deduce your patterns already, and although you didn't imply anything, I understood the situation in which we both stood. It is best that we keep it as it is. I have realized that, but was unwilling to accept it; these repercussions were wrought upon myself, and I will have to accept the concequences.
I will probably not tell you this directly, but I do wish you good luck on your future endeavours. We will still share a similar path, but I guess we are too different otherwise. As for myself, I have to finally tell myself to stop messing around in this tomfoolery. With a tone of finality, I now have the answers, or at least, reasonable assumptions, to consign myself to stop pursuing this matter. Hopefully, this time, my heart will comply. My brain has understood and processed this long ago...only now does my instinct respond to reality.
Of course, I could say that all this has been beneficial. I didn't lose anything, yet gained things that can't be studied or learnt without going through them. This will definitely aid my own handling of such events in the future (should I encounter them again). I have to thank all that have been with me, alongside me and tolerated me. Even in the past month, I have felt myself gradually returning to who I was. Now I shall be freed entirely, again setting aside the dormant part of me which was awakened for but a short while. At least we all know it exists.
Resignation is just a pessimistic word for liberation.
