DiViNE EViL DiViNE EViL: Pain in Solitude.


Thursday, December 31, 2009

Pain in Solitude.

Sometimes I have to ask myself am I that easily forgotten. Indeed, I did want to be forgotten in the past, and I partly regret it. I was content in being alone. But we all know how difficult the pain of solitude is to fathom. But the new decade is arriving, and we are forced to look only in one direction, with those looking the other lost in the past.

And so I leave the old one behind. The new decade is, for a fact, much more different than the last. My power only propelled me halfway through, till 2005, and it all went downhill from there. Is there any way now to restart the engine? There must be.

Looking back at the so called goals I planned on the first day this year, I can say I didn't really achieve much. Let us recapitulate:

-Compose at least one piece for piano (Progress: 20%)

I attempted, but that attempt only arrived in the second half of the year. And then I was better off reading books about composers and pianists rather than composing myself. Still some knowledge gained, but in the aspect of original material, not much progress was made.

-Stop being a semi-wuss (Progress: 50%)

This was probably the thing that I was thinking of the whole year. I have been reduced form semi-wuss to quarter-wuss. I think it's a good improvement, however I still need more control over certain situations that I still need to handle.

-Compose at least one piece for band/orchestra (Progress: 0%)

Obviously if I can't do one for piano I can't do one for band, much less orchestra. Didn't really progress much in terms of music diversity this year, I must say.

-Learn to Drive (Progress: 10%)

So far, still doing theory lessons but it is quite hard to find time for this. I have to squeeze lessons at night...which so far I haven't done yet. All I did was go for a couple during my leave.

-Obtain Piano ATCL diploma (Progress: 30%)

By resuming lessons, I've been building up a repetoire again, but I still feel noobish, and stuck at an invisible level between Grade 8 and Diploma. Why is this so...

-Attend Nightclasses to learn something Optional (Progress: 0%)

I'm not given stay-out in my camp, so this is to be ruled out.

-Positively determining to do something (Progress:?)

I'm really confused in this one. I do think, however, that given the path that I am supposed to follow, I'm still clueless in many aspects. Oh well.

-Perfect La Campenella (Progress: 60%)

At least I have to play this at least once every time I touch a piano. I'm still not getting tired of it, and now only the harder parts elude me. Screw those repeating notes, mega-far jumps and left-hand arpeggio octaves...

I have to say, every year, my resolutions will look the same. With all of the above fulfilled, I would have fulfilled myself. Indeed it is difficult to start, but once the momentum rises, they can all proceed in unison.

And may that force be generated from the unknown of the new decade.
JLam posted this at 17:42


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