Saturday, September 27, 2008
Self-Annoyance and Conscience-Killing
So stubborn is the choice of humans. Flexibility is obviously not an option to many. Granted, a good way to solve a problem will still bring inconvenience to others, but there is no point if virtually everybody is complaining about the same thing, which in turn actually determines your future and for guys, your own mental strength for two years. Conscience can kill. The guilt of not studying enough after that free time after the examinations can drive me crazy, all the time. The bad thing is, since I've been so lazy for the past ? years, I will never have the conscience that I really put in my best. I will never have put in by best. Even though I can no longer continue, I will think that I could. And it is not because of my own pressurising.
Even so, I will never take away my own life. That would be mightily stupid. I may sound emo now but my personality changes drastically when I am typing and when I am actually writing on paper. I have no idea what causes this change though.
Otherwise, I have to actually stop talking about myself. I have always aimed to express myself, but strayed into the path of mentioning all those problems that I probably don't face as badly as many others.
It is because of examinations. The relentless wave of character destruction.