DiViNE EViL DiViNE EViL: Transparent Reflections


Thursday, July 31, 2008

Transparent Reflections

I have been writing editing so many...testimonials, reflections, and accounts of the person that I am supposed to be, or am supposed to feel. It is the only right way. However, it isn't right in my conscience.

I submitted a 300+ word Personal Qualities draft when others usually have 400 to 500 words. Granted, my leadership skills are lacking, but that's about the only (and sadly, most crucially) the only quality I'm really lacking. Additionally screwing up of submittion forms for leadership posts did not help at all. Not to mention, as the uber-introvert I was since primary school, it's a good gauge of progression until this stage.

But then again, it's still against my conscience. I am unable to put the pen on paper (or finger on keys) to record feelings that I did not ever feel, or things I never ever done. Even those which give me an unsure aura usually get edited to a generic vernacular sentence that future employers supposedly want to see. Because of this excess bootlicking every self-written testimonial, which actually follows a format, becomes generic. Unless you are the president of some organisation in the school, employers might not even bat an eyelid on the wall of text that you have been trying to proliferate.

In the end, it is inevitable to just bear with a few words that will probably not have such a large effect at all. Employers just want to see your qualifications, and perhaps a summary of your most important achievements. I wouldn't really care what you did feel when helping people, unless you state blatantly that you were forced to do community service and abhorred it, because it would be obvious that you were caring and all that. It would all boil down to your work attitude. How you would perform if you were employed by the company itself. No amount of community service history would help you if you were shamelessly disrespectful to the company.

All these...transparent reflections. People can see right through them. They might as well question you right there and then in the interview, to compare with what they are supposed to feel or know. Yes, some people really put effort into helping others, and it shows in their work attitude. No amount of crapping can help you define the fact that you volunteered in three times as few events as the average slacker. Unfortunately, it is the same when we are all exposed to the real world. People just want to hear the pleasant, albeit harmful, comments that they know they will hear.

For my reflection does not look down on me, but light still shines through it until the opaque wall of reality strikes the mundane minds of human beings.
JLam posted this at 23:03


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