DiViNE EViL DiViNE EViL: Uncertainty


Saturday, March 15, 2008


Studied today, and what I did really made me uncertain.

For some reason I cannot do the questions that I usually can. As for those that I usually cannot, I feel like I was in an examination myself. I had the feeling of panic and indecisiveness. In those questions that require just a little twist, my brain becomes clogged and is unable to look at the big picture.

I have no idea why, though. Even if I'm better in that topic (Complex Numbers), there are always those questions that are slightly different that stump me. I have no...studying confidence. I am forced to like the subjects that I am studying, or it could have been worse. Looking at those that were my ex-classmates who received their 'A'-level results, achieving higher results seem doubtful, unless...my standard of myself is really higher. Must...not...aim...for...just-pass...these words must be burned into my mind.

But it is difficult. I would rather study Music any day...sit around even being forced to compose, I will have some sense of achievement. There is also, automatically, a higher expectation of yourself in the things that you like. Like how I was not really satisfied with my Op.1, yet I could not point out the discrepancy. The solution: start Op.2. Unfortunately, though I may have some motifs lingering around, I have no time to fork out to write them down.

As for this week, the sun has finally revealed itself from behind the clouds, after probably five consecutive days of rain. A big difference, really. I guess the world is really becoming more chaotic. The future is uncertain.

A sign of how bad the weather was: Somehow, some of the tiles in the living room started to...um...form fold mountains. I'm not exactly sure what is causing this phenomenon, but the tiles are sort of pushed against each other so that they rise slightly, leaving a triangular gap below. It is not very obvious...until you step on it. It becomes unstable and sounds hollow. Additionally, it seems like it will snap any minute, and that won't be pretty.

Ah, how examinations torture people. How weather tortures people. In the end, it is the people themselves that have given problems to their own fragile lives. How amazing the brain is, yet we do not make full use of it. That is because if we do, the results can be equally beneficial as disastrous.

Behold the power of DiViNE EViL, created by the mental aspects of humans.
JLam posted this at 23:53


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