DiViNE EViL DiViNE EViL: I can feel the collision.


Thursday, October 20, 2005

I can feel the collision.

Collision of feelings, that is. Confidence and worry. I feel that I can do it, but then I think I can't. I'm really stumped. AND all this while I'm not progressing at maximum speed at all.

In case you don't know what I'm talking about, it's about the 'O'-Levels...if you guessed wrong, slap yourself in the face.

Only progressing in English...and that's because they keep giving comprehensions to us. For the other subjects, I just don't know whether those preliminary papers from other schools are set to kill people. Well, it's killing me. I might as well go back to TYS, because that's the standard...correct me if I am wrong. Speaking of correction, if the font here is not Tahoma Size 10, please inform me...by mail(e-mail, that is) or by this stupid blue green thingy page.

I've never felt so weird before. It's like jumping off the bridge over a river when you want to die and halfway down you suddenly feel like swimming. You are prepared for something but in the wrong way. Sometimes I feel like kicking myself in the back, but I can't. Sometimes I feel like throwing the computer screen out of my house to study properly, but I can't. Sometimes I feel like dumping all my EE stuff, but I can't. Because if I do, I'm throwing away all my alternatives. Then I'll be stuck in the middle of the North Pole, freezing while ultraviolet rays still melt the shrinking ice around me. I'll then die from skin cancer of drowning than freezing. It's like expecting something that is not that expected but it was expected at first. I'm sorry if it's confusing because that's how it is. Even I'm confused. I stare into brownian motions. It's like, no power can save me now, except the best power of the Miracle. The only power that can save me now. The moon of Miracle. Not even the power of DiViNE EViL. It has left me. Temporarily or permanently, I don't know. It has just left me.

Left me in the state of Nevilinity.
JLam posted this at 14:18


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